As my next semester of college looms ever closer, my thoughts constantly revolve around how much further I’ve yet to go. This will be semester number 9 for me, the beginning of year 5. The idea of the typical 4 year college experience departed from my mind long before I enrolled for this semester.
Honestly, college has been such a trying experience for me. My first few years were plagued with indecision and constant change – I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and I jumped between several different majors. While I’ve stuck with my current major for several semesters and have no plans to change, I’ve barely taken any classes the past few semesters due to a combination of work and my own laziness. This whole process of trial and error has left me feeling frustrated and weary.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of just quitting school and just moving on with my life.
Even now that I’ve got a general idea of where I’m going in life, I still want school to vanish from my life. I know what I want and I feel like college will do little more than tie me down for another 2 full years. I’m just ready to be doing what I feel God put me here to do.
A few weeks ago, amidst these thoughts floating through my mind, I had a pretty significant lightbulb turning on moment. Jesus is obviously a pretty big deal in my life, coming to Earth and paying my sin debt through a gruesome death so I could have a chance of spending eternity in heaven and all that. There is literally no greater purpose to life than what Jesus came here for. But even He spent a substantial amount of time outside of that greater calling.
Of the 33 years Jesus spent physically on this planet, only during the last 3 did Jesus start His ministry. 3 years. The Savior of all mankind spent not even 10% of His life doing His most critical work.
God put that thought in my mind and it has not left. It still baffles me that it took 30 years of prep and patience for 3 years of the greatest calling of any man to take place.
I’ll admit, my knowledge of Jesus’ life between His birth and baptism isn’t too great, but I can’t imagine that it His “normal” life could even compare to His calling. Sure, He could teach at His local temple and make an impact in His local community. Maybe He took after Joseph and learned carpentry as a trade, building all sorts of neat things. As cool as that life may sound, it just doesn’t seem to compare with what Jesus had in His future.
That’s where I’m at right now. In the season of preparation and patience. I know from the deepest part of my heart that God’s got crazy big plans for me. And I’m so excited to see what those plans entail and to actually enact those plans. But as for now, I work a job that is neither exciting nor fulfilling. Like I said earlier, I’m so over school at this point. I’m still searching for that special woman God has waiting for me to do life with.
This is something God has been really working on in me – being satisfied with where I’m at and preparing me for what’s to come. It’s such a hard place to be, feeling so close to my calling but just being out of its reach. But I know that it’s all worth it. My college career has been all over the place, but God is showing me He has an amazing plan ahead for me. My job now may not be the best, but God is teaching me how to be patient and love others through it. I know God has a wonderful woman for me down the road, but for right now, He’s teaching me that He is enough for me.
Am I where I want to be in life? Not even close. I know I’ve still got a ways to go. But I know God has big plans for my future. I’ve just got to trust that He’s using this phase to help get me there.