Around this time of year, we all start to count our blessings and make a more concerted effort to express our thankfulness. Even in the past couple of days, I’ve started to really ponder how much I’m blessed with.
While I know I’ve got a lot of physical, material things to be thankful for, the main thing that’s hit me so far is not something tangible. But it is the greatest thing anyone could ever have. Something that we all have access to.
That thing is God’s unwavering desire to give us, give me, a second chance.
I won’t lie, these past few weeks haven’t been my best. Distractions have kept me from spending time in God’s word and in prayer. Old snares that I’ve kept at bay have come back harder than ever before. The initial drive I had to actually put effort into school left a long time ago.
All in all, I feel like I’ve backslidden so much lately. Fallen into the old life I’ve sworn off so many times before. Not a place I want to be but yet a place I find myself struggling to get out of.
Could it be that I’m being too hard on myself? I can almost guarantee I am. But the feelings of weakness or worthlessness that come from being in this spot hit me hard. Hard enough that I tend to inflect my own feelings onto others and, even worse, onto God.
But that’s not how God views things. Even after I make a major goof-up, God still loves me just the same. His mercies are new every morning. To me, there could be no greater new, because I need that new mercy constantly.
When I sit down and think about how much God has forgiven me, and I mean sit in quiet contemplation and really dwell heavily on it, I could start crying real fast. I don’t know how He could love someone as messed up as me. Why He continues to love me even after I’ve messed up the same thing for 4,932 time escapes me.
My human mind can’t comprehend His unending love and forgiveness. But I do know I should be so grateful for it. So grateful that my God is a God of second chances.
Originally posted 11/19/17
Header image from flickr